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If You Know Of Someone Who Might Be Thinking Of Committing Suicide

This page, and associated pages, are not meant as a replacement of professional, dependable, Christian help.

Psalms 141:3 - "Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips."

Possible Indicators That Some Is Considering Suicide
Times Of The Year And In Personal Lives When One Is More Prone To Commit Suicide
What To Do | What Not To Do
Are You Part Of The Problem?

Possible Indicators

Making Statements About Hopelessness, Or Helplessness-
This might be sign of something else, like major depression or other depressions, but keep alert for other signs listed below.

Talking About Suicide-
Do not ignore this sign. Most times, people who speak of, or threaten suicide, definitely have thoughts of committing suicide.

Giving Away Their Possesions-
This will most likely be coupled with other sign listed here.

Preoccupation With Death And Dying-
A strong indicator that suicide might be being considered by the individual.

Loss Of Interest In Things-
Also a possible sign of major depression and other forms of depression.

Suddenly Calmer, Happier-
This could be due to other things too. One positive thing would be when someone commits their life to Jesus Christ. However, if there is no true indicator of this, be on the alert.

Setting Business In Order-

Sleeping Or Eating Disturbances-
Also a sign of major depression and other depressions.

Previous Attempts At Committing Suicide-

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Times Of The Year And Personal Lives When One Is More Prone To Commit Suicide

Times Of The Year -
  • Before, During, and After Holidays, esp., Thanksgiving and Christmas
  • Spring (believe it or not). The month of March for some reason was horrible to me.
  • The Return to Standard Time

    Personal Times-

  • Loss of job
  • Loss of spouse
  • Loss of a child or relative
  • Divorce (Children are always affected by this, regardless of their age.)
  • Sexual abuse
  • Continued verbal abuse
  • Any Other Extreme Change In Life
  • The "Golden Years"

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    What To Do

    PRAY-

    1.-Ask God to guide you in all that you do.
    2.-Ask God to help you to hear what He wants you to do.
    3. Pray for that one considering suicide.
  • Thank God He is the God of peace and pray
    that your friend would be overwhelmed by the peace of God.
  • Plead the blood of Christ over the situation.
  • Rebuke satan.
    • I cannot emphasize prayer strongly enough. It is foundational, especially in this situation!
    4. Make Psalm 141:3 your prayer! It is the Scripture at the top of this page.

    Be A Very Good Listener-

    You will certainly be of immense help by listening well to your friend. Interrupt rarely. Let your friend talk. Be patient as they do so. It might be good to ask a HARMLESS question occasionally. Hopefully your friend will take that as a sign that you are listening.

    Assure Them Of Your Concern And Love For Them-

    Even if you sense that this is what they are looking for, go ahead and vocally affirm this to them.

    Affirm God's Love And Concern For Them-

    Even if you know that this person might be steeped in sin, separate in your mind sin from sinner and realize that God wants to demonstrate His love to all. They might feel that God is punishing them. Assure them that whatever is happening that God wants them to come to Him and turn their lives completely over to Christ. Point out the forgiveness of God and His cleansing power. Point out that there is real life in Christ. Show them that Jesus is the answer.

    Attempt To Lead Them To Christ-

    This would be the ultimate cure for their present state.

    Nonchalantly Remove Any Possible Instruments Of Suicide-

    If they catch you doing so, affirm your love/concern for them.

    If They Haven't Mentioned Suicide, but . . .-

    ...you sense that this is what they are considering, in a wise way ask if they are thinking about suicide. If they admit to it, encourage them to immediately seek help.

    Encourage Them To Talk To Others-

    If you can suggest a Christian led by the Holy Spirit, - that would be great. Suggest also, parents, teachers, clergy, doctors, etc.

    Say Something Positive About Them-

    This is a great thought to keep in mind for long-range prevention. What I mean is that various people are born with various mental dispositions. Perhaps you have seen a theoretical chart describing four basic personality types- Choleric, Phlegmatic, Sanguine, and Melancholy. Each group can have both positive and negative attitudes and demeanor. So often, those, like myself, who have somewhat of a Melancholy disposition are prone to depression. Sometimes we "down" ourselves. This is particularly treacherous for pre teens and teenagers. As I told you on the main suicide prevention page, I had attempted suicide at 17. One thing that helped to stop me was something that was said by my sister, Pat Wurtemberg a few years before that as I was going through puberty. In my mind at times I was a fat, weak, worthless thing. I felt ugly and dirty. Yet, one day, Pat said to me "You're going to be handsome when you grow up." Now, I know that is a matter of opinion, but, that one simple statement gave me just another small glimmering reason NOT to commit suicide. Mind, you, - this was my own sister whom I had often teased and hounded!

    Now this is NOT to say that the other 3 mental dispositions are immune from suicidal tendencies. Even your happy-go-lucky Sanguine friend can be routed by satan to end it all. Also, each person is a mix of more than one disposition. One will predominate of course, but there are elements of at least one more. In my case, though I am predominately Melancholy, I am a bit Phlegmatic and a bit Choleric. So, your friend or relative who is predominately Choleric, Phlegmatic or Sanguine, might have a touch of Melancholy in them.

    Be honest in your statements, and do not wait for suicidal tendencies to appear. Especially in your family, find something positive about each person and tell them so. This might require humility and sometimes forgiveness on your part.

    Also, a true, positive statement in the short term will help.

    If You Do The Cooking . . .-

    ...I highly recommend that you increase the B-Complex, B-12, and Tryptophan content of this friend's diet. I address this point in my discussions of Overcoming Depression.

    Encourage A Medical Examination-

    The desire to commit suicide might be medically related. In the event your friend thinks they have a terminal disease but refuses to find out for sure from an examination, let them know that weekly there are new advances in medicine. Also, Jesus is the Great Physician.

    Get Them To Focus Upon Something Or Someone Else-

    Encourage them to get out of the house and help others. Have them help you with something. Say something like ."..I need your help with...." The word "need" is very powerful in cases like this.

    And If They Seem Like They Are About To Commit Suicide-

  • Keep praying silently to God for guidance
  • Keep talking with them
  • Nonchalantly signal for help
  • Do not leave them alone

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    What Not To Do

  • Never tell them to go ahead and commit suicide. Someone did that to me.
  • Do not belittle them.
  • Do not act nervous yourself.
  • Do not leave them alone if they are on the verge of committing suicide.
  • Ignore no remark about suicide, even if you think they are joking.

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    Are You Part Of The Problem?

    You Might Be If . . .

    ...as a parent, you have favored one of your children over the other over the years

    ...if you sexual abuse or verbally abuse someone

    ...showing unforgiveness, bitterness, toward someone. Holding a grudge towards them.

    ...refuse to speak to them

    ...have said negative things to them

    ...encouraged this person in any sinful activity

    ...if you have done any negative or sinful thing to this person directly or indirectly

    So What You Need To Do Is . . .

    Ask God to forgive you and He will (1 John 1:9)

    Please see the Forgiveness Factor along this line.

    Commit your life to Jesus Christ

    Go to the one you might have harmed and ask them to forgive you.

    Cease all your negative influence, especially with them.

    Minister to them.

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    Go to the main Suicide Prevention Page.

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    text ©2001, Peter P. Macinta - you may print out for private use
    Bro. Pete's Oasis Of Hope