The following is from a pastoral Christian BIBLICAL position and is not intended as a replacement of personal Biblical counseling

Marriage 101

by Pastor Peter Macinta

A Good And Beautiful Plan

18 And the YHWH God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
19 And out of the ground YHWH God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
21 And YHWH God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which YHWH God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

What a beautiful beginning for mankind! In . . .
v.18 We see that when God made humans, He made us as social creatures. This is a good need, and Adam had to realize God's plan for him.

So, in v.19, and 20, we note that the first man was equipped with intelligence and speech. I personally assume here that Adam most certainly had the capability to classify things. The very fact that such high intelligence is displayed indicates we are not animals. We note a distinction in Gen. 2:7 in that God made man a living soul. In other words, God created each set of creatures as distinct groups and this world is not populated by creatures that have evolved. Evolution is another topic and we have no room to discuss it on these pages at this time except for this: on your own read the early chapters of Genesis. It is important for you to realize that humans are not animals, but are living souls created in the very image of God. Evolution has been used by satan to devalue man, make him believe that he his not a spiritual creature, and that he is just like the animals. One more quick thought- do you realize that there is a de-evolution theory? Some say are regressing! I would believe that sooner than evolution!

If God Took A Rib From Adam, How Come Both Guys And Gals Have Twelve Ribs????

This question actually came up in an EMT class I took in the mid 1980's. Evidently, the world has its' own interpretation of the Bible, especially Genesis. For example, many people think Adam and Eve ate an apple: the Word of God says nothing about Adam and Eve eating an apple. Even the encyclopedia program on my computer, "Encarta", states that Adam and Eve ate an apple. Makes you wonder about the other information in it.

So, for the same reason, the question arises as to why does everyone, both male and female have 12 ribs. Apparently the one asking the question just believed what he heard and not what the Bible actually says. The EMT class had no idea that I was a pastor. The teacher paused for a second when the question was asked, so I raised my hand. I replied, "Adam was the only one that got ripped off!" I pointed out that often people misquote and misunderstand the Bible, and that we should read it for ourselves. Nowhere does the Bible indicate that Adam's male descendants would have only eleven ribs.

Adam's Rib And A Little Boy

You may have heard this one, but here goes.

A little boy, (let's call him Franky) went to Sunday School one day and his teacher was teaching upon God's creation and how Adam and Eve were made. Franky paid attention and after Sunday School and church trotted right home. After lunch he went outside to play like most little boys do. He was running around a good bit and apparently was stretching some muscles in his chest. When he came home and rested a bit, he noticed his side was hurting. He calls out...

Mommy! Mommy! I think I am having a wife!

Look How The Lord Created Woman!

God does not form her directly from the dust, but from Adam's rib, from his side, close to his heart. Perhaps you may have heard it said something to the effect that God did not use a bone from the foot so Adam might step on her, or from his head that he may lord his authority over her, but that God used a rib so that man and woman might walk side by side through life.

Every other creature, whether male or female, apparently was created by God from the ground (Gen. 2:19). BUT, when it came to humans a distinction was made in that the female was created from part of the male. So, in all of the creation of God, the human female holds a most honorable position. However, due to the fall of mankind because of sin, satan has deprecated this position (as he has done with many other things).


For our current purposes, we want to concentrate on what a relationship between a husband and wife should be. There is to be a bond between a husband and wife that is greater than sex. It is one of true companionship cemented with a commitment to one another. That is why the passage naturally leads to the place where God states that "...a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:..." It is God's holy, good, and wholesome plan for mankind to regenerate forming new family units.

The next phrase points out that they are to be one flesh, and that is exactly what God's Word means. Since these are powerful precepts, I discuss these verses more completely on Basic Help For The Marriage Under Attack. Even if you are having a great time in your marriage, go to that page and learn about these powerful precepts.

"And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."
This is another ideal in marriage. God intended this to be a very beautiful and peaceful relationship between a husband and wife. Yet, sadly, because sin entered into the world and we are all born with a sin nature, satan has corrupted it. I have heard of cases where sexual relations between a husband and wife were not normal because of some type of dysfunction, viz., one party could not enjoy sex because they were embarrassed to be naked in front of another person. If one looks at God's Word, once you are married YOU ARE ONE flesh. Your body first belongs to God then to your spouse (I discuss this more fully on the page I just mentioned above.) That is not "another person" looking at your body, but someone that is now part of you.

In fact, aside from sex, we should be acquainted very well with our spouse's body, being helpful in correcting any problems. Does your spouse have a bad back? - Help him or her take care of it. Help keep an eye on spots that may develop into cancer, and so on.

Lest someone reads the previous and draws an erroneous conclusion, understand clearly that this state of nakedness is between husband and wife. We are to cover up before others! That includes our children and other relatives.

Oddball Theology

Due to people neglecting to read the ENTIRE Word of God, and, of course, due to their sin nature, the idea that God has a female side is being floated amongst the denominations. They seem to get hungup on the word "image" as if it comprises only that which can be seen. There was an actual case here in Dorchester County MD where a member of the ministerial association suggested we pray to Sophia. As you can see with my description of this verse to the right, they have missed the point.


Too Much Ruckus
Over The Gender Of God

Perhaps you have heard how some are now making Bible versions gender neutral in reference to God. Terms such as "He", "Him", "His", "Father", etc. would be replaced by terms that would be "gender neutral." The pressure to make these changes come from the sinful world system. As you will see to the right of this column, there is very good reason as to why the gender designations assigned to God should be left untampered with.

Remember that the Word of God is exactly that, the Word of God, God breathed precisely as God wanted It to be, word for word.

In the originals and ancient texts, God, The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are always used in the male gender. The Church, often Israel and other human systems are referred to in the female gender. To make the Bible gender neutral removes the idea of flowing love from it. One big publisher refers to making things gender neutral as "gender accurate". Accurate? It is more like adulterated, perverted!

Male And Female

Genesis 1:27 - So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

The Main Intent Of This Passage is to convey to us that FELLOWSHIP exists within the Godhead, NOT to equate "gender" with "image". There is only one Supreme Being, God, yet, within the body of the Holy Scriptures we see Him subsisting (a word I am borrowing from Henry Thiessen, a theologian) as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. These terms are no accident, and, as we focus in on the first two, "Father" and "Son", the idea of loving fellowship should come to our minds. The Hebrew Scriptures (the Old Testament) reveal a deep loving relationship that was to exist between the father and his son. Hence, as we begin to read in the New Testament about "The Father" and "The Son" we must realize that it speaks of the deep loving relationship within the Godhead. Still, a question may arise in your mind such as "If God is One Being, how can there be fellowship within Himself?" To answer that I would say to look at our own selves. There is only one YOU, correct? Yet the Bible refers to our being as body, soul, and spirit. Is there fellowship within ourselves? Yes, and there are many examples in Scripture that proves it, but here is one for now: Psalm 103:1- 5. Also, have you ever heard of or even used the phrase "peace with yourself"? Our conscience, which resides in our spirit, will bother us about certain things until we make those things right.

Now, in Genesis 1:27, when the "image of God" is spoken of in the middle of the verse and the end of the verse states that He made man male and female, the Holy Spirit was not indicating that God was both male and female but that God exists in such a way that He is love (1 Jo. 4:8) and that there is active fellowship within His very Being. When He created man, man was much less than God and needed a "help meet." That is why He created man male and female. Man is supposed to be to some degree an extension of God's love, operating in fellowship, work, and creation. God works mightily, and, we, being made in His image, should enjoy working too. As you can see in Genesis, God is very creative, and so are humans (but not as much as He of course.) So too, because we are made in His image, we desire fellowship.

So the predominate reason why He made man male and female is for fellowship. This is a prime basis for PHILEO, one of at least three Greek words for love and is used in the Greek NT. A secondary reason was so that man may be part of God's creative acts. As you can read in Genesis, He tells man to be fruitful and multiply. Procreation is sacred to God. Sex within marriage is Holy. The sexual drive (sometimes the Greek word EROS would refer to this) was created as good and wholesome.

Both EROS and PHILEO are enhanced by a third type of love, AGAPE. I fully discuss these three types of love at the pages entitled Real Love.

In regards to fellowship, it is very important that husband and wife have some things in common in regards to standards, interests, etc. The best situation is if both the husband and the wife really know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. Even if they do not have a goodly number of things in common, if they both know Christ as their personal Savior it will open up more avenues of fellowship between them.

ONE Man - ONE Woman


It is clear from these passages in Genesis that God's true plan is for HETEROSEXUAL union and not homosexual union. Not once in the word of God is homosexuality mentioned in a favorable light. It, LIKE OTHER SINS, is condemned as a damnable abomination. See 1 Cor. 6:9, Rom. 1:26 - 27. Someone once tried to tell me that the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah was not homosexuality, but pride. (Eze. 16:49). Well, of course it was - "gay" pride! Look for yourself as to how they behaved in Genesis 19:1 - 11. Pride was really the first sin, satan himself being the one to create it. In back of every sin is pride - pride in the fact that one is going to rebel against God.

The fact remains that God created man male and female, not male and male and not female and female.

Homosexuality is sin just like any other sin, and just as much as I would not want to see a child raised by drunkards, neither would I wish to see a child raised by homosexuals. Sin is contagious. That is not meaning to say that the children that might be reared in homosexual homes will become homosexual, but it does mean that there is a great absence of God established patterns and values in that home. The children will definitely grow up with many spiritual negatives. So I applaud any judicial system that forbids homosexual couples to adopt or raise children.

It is clear from this Genesis account that God desires a husband to have only one wife and a wife only one husband. Now you may rightfully ask...

If that is so, then why did some men in the Bible practice polygamy?

In reading the Bible we must make a distinction in our minds between what it records and what it actually commands. Nowhere did God command anyone to take more than one spouse while another spouse still lived. Also, for almost every account where a man had more than one wife there was always some kind of trouble in the household.

Hence, when the Mormons first started, they were actually wrong for practicing polygamy. They remain wrong on many other points and, specifically on marriage, their doctrine of eternal marriage is unfounded in, and contradicted by, The Bible. The writings created by and claimed to be inspired by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon) are in direct conflict with the real Holy Scriptures on many points.

Some people practice polygamy as a way to pay less taxes or no taxes at all.

So God's true plan is for monogamy. Besides, would you really want all those in-laws?

So, If God Had Such A Beautiful And Wonderful Plan, What Happened?

"What happened" was that Adam willfully chose to sin. Pride is the basis of all sin and Adam felt that he could overlook YHWH God's specific command not to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. If you read the whole story in Genesis 3, you will see how quickly sin entered man. They were ashamed to be naked, afraid of the Lord God, and threw the blame of their sin on someone else.

The Remedy Is Jesus Christ!

For their nakedness...

Unto Adam also and to his wife did YHWH God make coats of skins, and clothed them.- Genesis 3:21

This is a loving act of YHWH God to Adam and Eve. Now, what I am about to write in purple is not found in the Bible and is only a theory of mine:

I am of the opinion that when YHWH God made these coats of skins He told Adam and Eve that, because of their sin, He would have to personally intervene, take our flesh upon Himself and die for our redemption. Note that after the Exodus, animal sacrifices were required to make the needy person ceremonial clean and acceptable before the Lord. And, I do feel that if the Lord did speak to them in this manner, there was heart broken sorrow in the voice of YHWH God for Adam and Eve.

Now, whether or not my thoughts in that above paragraph are valid, THIS IS VALID:

God loves you and your spouse very much and greatly desires to help you or anyone else you may be concerned about. He DOES want to help you and me. We just have to let Him help us!

And I have loved you enough to tell you the truth about these matters. It is my earnest prayer that you will be helped by the information on these pages. I wish to see more children spared the pain of divorce and married couples living in more harmony with each other. Without apology I submit to you that Jesus Christ will be the very answer to all of our needs. Through Him, we will gain the victory over various sins that chew away at our relationships. Throughout these pages you will find answers from GOD'S WORD to protect, heal, and enhance your marriage.

Christ Jesus, in redeeming us from our sins, not only removes our sins but, when we invite Him, He dwells within us. Hence, the fellowship with YHWH God that Adam and Eve enjoyed is somewhat restored on our part if we truly trust Him. As He dwells within us, we learn to "die to our self" and let Him live through us. Someone once said that when a couple marries, one dies (in other words, one submits to the other). The truth of the matter is BOTH should die, and let Christ live through both.

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Real Love

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